PRUE HALLIWEL ::: OBSERVER OF LIFE

i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...

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PRUE SAYS...

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

fear of getting old...

i think it was a week ago when Manny interested me about the feature of discovery channel (not sure...) on people who fear getting old... we were just talking about it 2 nights before he saw it... i remember telling him "sobra akong takot tumanda..." that just thinking about it practically creeps me out...

here i am, suddenly researching on it...

GETTING OLD PHOBIA:
(Gerascophobia, Gerontophobia, Fear of Old People, and Fear of Growing Old)

1: getting old phobia: a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of growing old or old people , despite the understanding by the phobic individual and reassurance by others that there is no danger. 2: getting old phobia: a strong fear of, dislike of, or aversion to growing old or old people...

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not all my friends know... well, i am actually not sure who knows about it but i am sure i've shared this with close friends... other than the fact that i fear growing old ALONE, it is the "growing old" per se that i am so terrified with...

okay... this may be the reason why my perceptions on death is so unorthodox... it isn't like as if i invite death to come my way but i hope it does before i wrinkle to kingdom come...

what about growing old anyway?

i don't know... i guess i don't want to be walking with my back arched... bald or with gray hairs... wrinkled skin, if not sagged fats...

ewan ko...basta... i feel that no matter how much i swear to be smiling everyday even when i'm old, the thought that you're life is wilting away scares me...

but is it really just those?

i don't want to reach the age when i can barely recognize the people around me... not remembering their names... not being able to wrestle... that i will have to be accompanied everywhere i go... kung meron mang aalalay sa akin...

i want to be remembered young...vibrant... full of life... free-spirited...

able to throw the tighest embrace and the warmest smile...

and gahd, i just realized now... what if i unfortunately don't lose weight by the time i'm 60...? inaykopo...! paano na? with bones so weak... grabe... baka i won't be able to get up from the bed na... hahaha!

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can you imagine?

My photo
My life is not extra-ordinary but it has stories to tell...

THESE ARE THE MOMENTS!!!