PRUE HALLIWEL ::: OBSERVER OF LIFE

i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

craving for isaw...

the breeze was just perfect to stay outside… and I was so tempted to visit U.P. and lie down on my back sa sunken garden… that’s it… but then I saw Menggay just petiks in the office… hahaha!

“Menggay, isaw tayo sa U.P.?”

“o sige kuya otep.”

“liezl sama ka!”

“mag-i-isaw kayo? sama ako.” Great… Angel (not my hubby) and Kaye will be coming too… this will be fun… gahd… pabata ng pabata ang mga nakakasama ko… hahaha!

And so instead of sunken garden, we went straight to where else but the famous isawan of Mang Larry, just in front Kalayaan Residence Hall… and the sight that greeted us is the usual big crowd just dying to have their sticks of appetizing bituka at kung anu-ano pang klaseng isaw... Kuya Nelson and Mark (angel's hubby) came with us too... and while waiting for our orders to be grilled, we all had sorbetes first... hahaha! talk about craving for streetfood...
Mind you… it isn’t just UP Diliman students who frequent the stall… even professionals and other non-UPs are suki na talaga ni Mang Larry…. Kasama na kaming mga tiga-istasyon…

‘Yan ang very popular isawan ni Mang Larry… and his inspirational success story has repeatedly been done sa tv and print… as refreshed by writer Reynold, Mang Larry formerly worked as a security guard but later resigned and opened a meager isawan in 1987…

it was Mang Larry’s only source of living which supported his family of 3 kids… and with his perseverance and a stroke of luck, Mang Larry’s small pwesto then grew… and earned more… started to expand… and before he realizes, he already has a flock of sukis sa kanyang mas malaki nang tindahan ng isaw from morning till sundown…

Mang Larry’s only puhunan in ’87 was P300… who would believe na ngayon, he invests P10,000 everyday just to keep supplying a whole day’s demand ng kanyang appetizing grilled chicken and pork innards, tenga, dugo or betamax, chicken feet and barbecue… I doubted at first pero come to think of it…. Sa dami ng bumibili sa loob ng isang buong araw, it maybe true… now I wonder, magkano kaya ang kinikita ni Mang Larry sa isang araw? Pretty hefty for a humble isawan I’m sure…

there was no way to extract the figures… I heard kasi may dues or whatever taxes (?) din na binabayaran ata si mang Larry sa loob ng unibersidad… but I suppose, the earnings would be a little over decent…

And it’s what Mang Larry deserves… pinagsikapan naman niya yun… such a responsible provider too… his children are flying high with colors in school…. He also a has nurse now who works abroad…

Like they say, Mang Larry is the man!!! Hehehe! Now, he’s reaping the sweet fruits of his labor.

His pride in the business? Ang kanyang isaw…. MASARAP, MALINIS, SULIT!!!

Hmmm… YUMYUM talaga!

P.S.

If I were my normal self, I would have devoured 10 sticks of chicken intestine, 10 sticks of isaw baboy and 10 barbecues… but since I’m killing myself with this diet, I’m proud to say, i only had 4 sticks of isaw manok and 4 sticks of barbecue…

That was it… it was already my dinner… oo noh! Maniwala na kayo please! Hahaha!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

my rackets are out...

as part of my exercise regimen, i am back to playing badminton... it isn't really meant for my diet but my cardiorespiratory fitness... and with it, my agility will improve... one of the attempts is to let my body get used to being active again... sweat some toxins... and most of all, i surely need an outlet for stress...

thanks to my officemates who are indulging with me... maila, denmark, ate jerlyn, kuya willert and jay... as intended, they will be my tuesday and thursday badminton mates...





we've played for three hours but... hahaha! grabe! i'm playing differently now... i used to play perfectly well for 2 games (6 sets) but last night was terrible... i wasn't able to make it through the 2nd set... entoonces, ni hindi ako nakatapos ng isang game... oh well, it's my first night after all... my body will adjust... haaaay...




okay... okay... wanna know how spent i was? in the middle of the 2nd set, my legs gave up on me... i dropped on the floor... wastedly laid... and densed of course... attempted to get up but my body was shaking... guess what i did? i rolled my body on the floor just to reach the bench... i think, that was about 8 rolls... hahaha! natatawa na lang ako... siempre, natakot din ako since i was really having a hard time breathing... hitsura ng bolang gumugulong... hahaha! haaaaaay buuuuhaaaay!

anyway... ei piper, wyatt and paige... how about being my regular mondays and wednesdays? hehehe!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

cute song...

wow... i find this song really cute... some sort of mushy... feel-good music... and very in-love... just perfect when you're strolling along the shore...

i'm dedicating it to my angel... and to ivan na rin... hehehe...

and to all those pa-cute and feeling in-love, i hope you like it too...

**********

BUBBLY
BY: COLBIE CAILLAT

(will you count me in)

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feeling like a child now
Cause everytime I see you're bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

(chorus)
It starts in my toes and I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes, I always know
You make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time, wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pain
But we are hiding in a safer place
Undercover staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes, I always know
You make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time, wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just...hmmmm......

And it starts in my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes, I always know
You make me smile please stay for a while now
Just take your time, wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
Cause everytime you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose, the feeling shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holding me tight....

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go.

Monday, January 14, 2008

of getting bigger...

big bro: dete, what are you doing?

dete: just on line tol, why?

big bro: how about shopping?

dete: what are you buying?

big bro: no tol... what do i wish you'd buy for me? hehehe!

dete: ganun?

big bro: that's why you're my dete and i'm the bunso...

dete: daya mo!

big bro: as if you're not used to it... kawawa si big bro, wala ng ades...

dete: asus! nagpaawa pa, what do you need ba?

big bro: i want to play badminton again but my shoes is old and i think this time, i need badminton shoes na talaga... plus, a new bag... paraphernalias... and chelsea broke my jug... and tol... kung anu-ano pa... pls pls pls tol...

dete: cia cia, sige! pero mga 6pm pa ko pwede. where do we meet? tapos na pasko di ba? LOL

big bro: eh tol... can we extend it? pleeeeeaaaase... tsaka tol, i'm fixing my diet... and my exercise regimen... hindi na ako magra-rice sa gabi.. kapatid i am really getting big... baka hindi mo na ako maakap sa susunod na taon... you have to help me... and you can start by sponsoring my clothing and everything else that i need FOR NOW... hehehe! love you tol!

dete: um-oo na nga ako di ba? what's the plan?

big bro: i'll see you in gateway.... let's check out sa nike... then let's transfer sa eastwood... kapatid, dinner tayo sa seafood island... magpapaalam lang ako sa mga paborito kong kasama sa hapagkainan... then let's watch 'i am legend'... keri?

dete: ang galing... naplano mo na kapatid ah... ok big brother, see you sa gateway ng mga 7pm... daan lang ako parlor.

big bro: no more parlor.. baka mapagsarahan ako...

dete: we'll go to eastwood din naman... boutiques close at 12, remember?

big bro: it's a date then later tol... mwah mwah love you super tol... hehehe!

dete: sagot mo movie ha....

big bro: hmmm... okidoki kapatid... pero treat mo ako ice cream...

dete: lugi talaga ako sa 'yo. sige na. i'll get ready na tol.

big bro: see you later tol.

*********

and that's how malambing i am... hahaha! no... i'm just super swerte i have sisters who despite my age still looks over me...

anyway, where am i coming from... wala naman... it's just that everybody (friends and officemates - except me!) have been noticing that i'm doubling in size... hmp!

"otep... ang taba taba mo na naman..."

"friiieend... parang dumoble pa ata laki mo ngayon!"

"madam, ang laki laki mo na."

"grabe 'tep... walang kang kaproble-problema noh..."

the past days, their words have been echoing in my head... maybe because i'm walking slower now... maybe because i can't dance anymore... at least not the way i do... yeah... i can't even do the beyonce' moves na... hmp!!!

my angel too said, "angel, hindi na kita maakap.. ayaw mag-abot ng kamay ko."... huhuhu!

really... there's no denying after all since i can feel my weight's weighing on me... and my tummy's grown too protrude... and my limbs... whoa... it's the best meat in town...

and worst, i get tired easily... and i'm whistle-breathing... even when i'm up and about, it's like i'm snoring... if not, my friends get worried cause it sounds like my asthma's back...

guilty as charged... fine... i neglected proper nutrition... i'm malnourished... and like they say, acceptance is the first step... now what do i do about it?

hmmmmm... my next entry is to be about my HELLOs and GOODBYEs...

let me get to sleep first... i almost forgot... tmrw's monday and i've work...

P.S.

yes... i had my shopping done...

yes... my dete and i had dinner in seafood island



and yes... we saw 'i am legend'

and by the way, i had ice cream too... not a scoop but a pint... wait... i did share it with my dete... it was her treat after all... hehehe... mwah!

and yes yes yes... later, after my story conference and postmortem with the staff, i'll do badminton... my HELLO n GOODBYE entry goes with my LASTY NIGHT, FIRST DAY too... i'll be living a new life... i have to.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

yummy dicky chocolatey lollipops...

i suppose it still is christmas... gifts are still pouriing and the last one i got was form ona... she must have gotten these from Kink Cakes... chocolate lollipops in the form of dicks... hahaha!

i wonder what subliminal message she's trying to send... oh well, i'm not addicted to them... hahaha! but they certainly are yum-yum...

do i eat them whole or do i take it inch by inch? hahaha! ikaw talaga one tooth...




Saturday, January 12, 2008

seizing the moment...

january is the coldest month of the year... but the rain's making it even colder... and as far i'm concerned, today was the coldest so far... and normally, i'd enjoy the downpour and the shiver but since i'm missing my angel so much, i can't help but bathe in lonesome...

i am unwilling to let work distract me 24 hours of the day, i had to resolve myself with sleeping as an escape... what with the cold cold night, the bed is alluring despite the lack of a romantic feeling...

it was lunchtime when i got piglet's call.... she was dead hungry... but i am coiled lazily with my pillows... good thing she was still having her footspa... i stil have a few more minutes to enjoy my bed and the weather...

she and jessie then picked me up... manny came with us... and we proceeded to Little Quiapo, a restaurant just near Sulu Hotel... hmmmm... what could be more savory than goto and tokwa't baboy during a rainy day... but of course, that won't be enough for me... hahaha... had adobo rice as well...

then realized, my first activity for the day is to eat lunch (i get up late on weekends... sometimes very very late.... hehehe!)... grabe... considering that the last thing i did naman yesternight was to eat too... and i was also with manny and jessie... jerome had nothing to do so he tagged along... had a craving for chinese food so i asked if everybody was fine with Wan Chai... and perfect... jessie and i had hakao and pork siomai for appetizers... and for the main course, manny ordered chicken asparagus... jerome was salivatiing for lumpia... and my appetite was just crying for... dyarararan... my favorite... the not very healthy papatim and yangchow...



there was just four of us and the patatim serving is good for atleast 8 - 10 pax... but i have no choice, it's the only serving they have and i am not in the mood to deprive myself of the craving... i miss angel and i deserve good food... hahaha... such a lousy excuse...

anyway, back to today... had no picture by the way of our Little Quiapo feast... had my cam but it was out of batt...

and so after eating, thought of browsing one of my favorite places... the bookstore... tingin-tingin lang... kill the time... enjoy the weather outside... masabi ko lang sa sarili ko that i had time for myself and i was able to do something i really like... haaay... yes, to live a life is also an effort lately...

was supposed to buy the book of Wanda Ilusyunada and Papa P's Photo Bio... but both were sold out already... shit! i can wait again for wanda's compilation of her blog entries... but not my Papa P's pictobook... now that's making my day gloomy...

tried asking the girl again that by some stroke of luck, there maybe copies in the stockroom that was overlooked or a display item which, if still in good condition, i'll get it... but to no such luck... o cia... sige na... will wait na lang... or Magnet may have it naman... will check monday...

still not wanting to get back home, i browsed the shelves... nothing new from Nicholas Sparks... hmmmm... and then i saw the POB section... previously owned books... o cia, cge... lehme check if there's any good find...

FLIGHTS OF LOVE... promising title... covers a little spoiled but still in good reading condition of course... so what's the book about? 'Flights of Love consists of seven stories, all of them weaving around the idea of love - why people are drawn to it and why some run from away... (aha... hindi naman siguro ito stories ni prue and piper ano?! hahaha!)... schlink (bernhard schlink) in turns shows us LOVE AS DESIRE, LOVE AS CONFUSION, LOVE AS QUICK AFFAIR, LOVE AS A DRASTIC LIFE-CHANGING REBELLION, LOVE AS A FORCE OF HABIT and LOVE AS BETRAYAL...' (ha? storya nga ata namin ni piper... wehehe!)

owkei... i've read enough.. brief but it already got me.. all the magic words i need to know... oh, and only at a hundred bucks... not bad... aba, i hope it's content value is more than just a hundred...

nuninuninu... seems like it's the only book worth buying from the section... i'm almost done checking every book... until... uuuy A VERY PRIVATE PERSON... purple cover and with the male and female gender signs on it... what about it? can't actually deduce from the title and so i opened... 'this novel was inspired by the plight of transexual people... aimed at the general public, it's purpose is to instruct rather than to titillate (i wonder what it will instruct... hehehe!).. it is the author's hope that it will be of some value to the families of those who may be undergoing GENDER REASSIGNMENT... (talaga? hmmm... moving on)... enabling them to anticipate some of the issues to be confronted and to understand the perspective of the transexual person...

the book is actually thin... about a hundred fifty pages only... and when i turned to some middle pages, a few lines narrated of a husband infuriated by a secret revealed late in the marriage... aha... ganun? sige... fifty pesos lang naman... not much to lose if proven otherwise...

two books? i think i can finish reading this in two days din... and in two month's time, it's already summer... i bring with me books everytime i go out-of-town so might as well take the chance... after all, bihira na akong makapag-enjoy sa bookstore...

dandadandadan... dinindindin... ooops... THE BEST AWFUL... is there such a thing? the best awful... what can it mean? it's by carrie fisher... okei... i remember her... i have her 'postcards from the edge' which is used a work-reference in this book... and as i understand, TBA is a sequel to it...

ano ba yan? what's with this day? the first page i flipped to says....


THE MAN THAT GOT THE MAN THAT GOT AWAY... is it really what i understand it to be? may lalakeng nakarelasyon ang lalakeng mahal ng iba... lehme see... 'suzanne vale had a problem, and it was the one she least liked thinking about... she had a child with someone who forgot to tell her he was gay... he forgot to tell her and she forgot to notice...'

hahaha! i looked up and saw the sign again... it says PREVIOUSLY OWNED BOOKS... not Human Sexuality Section... how come the books i'm picking based on initial impressions are about gay affairs... hahaha! kasama na ba yun sa gaydar?

now i have a problem... does this mean i have to re-read 'postcards from the edge'? i don't remember anything from it that signifies the plot of 'the best awful'... aaaaah... wait... i think i get it.... it says nga pala, the man failed to mention and suzanne failed to notice... there really would be nothing from the previous.. i am pretty sure of that.. . good thing...

i failed to check how much it costs... kaya medyo nagulat ako when i paid 350 for carrie's book... reasonable price though coz it's hard bound and the author naman somehow has a name...

spent three hours browsing the bookstore... and i really enjoyed it... thought of seizing the moment... it's not like this every weekend after all... might as well check out the music store...

got myself some dvds and vcds... was actually enticed to purchase Cadio's cd but i was already way overspending... some other time, i'll be back Cadio... i think i have enough already to distract me from missing angel... atleast for the next few days... and somehow to also remind me at the end of the day that i still have a life...

P.S.

as usual, i lost tracked... what a lengthy entry... hindi naman nahalatang bored ako ngayon ano? hahaha!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

a different perspective...

the holiday season has closed and a new year's upon us, it's time to cobble together and post random musings which details where my mind is right now… and where my heart will be… should be one part recap of 2007 and one part resolutions for 2008… but I think that will have to change now…

just as the beauty of a sunrise is a matter of perception by the human brain, as I believe, same goes with the human interpretation of january 1 traditionally marked as `a new beginning'... to me, it may just well be "a continued life"...

strangely, the significance of new year’s day has changed over my many sets of 365 days — from framing resolutions (frivolous and not-so-frivolous) to be acted upon during the next 12 months or rather just another grandiose feast of food and fireworks… just another passing of time…

in other words, at this stage of my mental evolution, january 1 is no different from any other day, even if the year has changed... of more importance to me is the realization that I simply have to welcome every result of my efforts and without discrimination, whatever life throws at me…

oh well… yes, there is one particular thought which I cannot ignore… i always try to make a comprehensive view of what and how my life has been… or perhaps formulating and dreadfully plotting out how I’ll be in the next 12 months… so much for that… it’s time not to sweat it out… let anything come my way… just let it flow…

is it really possible to even map out my life? after all, am I ever successful in this feat? I doubt so much… no… without a doubt, I say, i seldom succeed…

i am winner when it comes to my profession… I deserve that pat… but when it comes to the more trivial yet most important aspects of my personal life, it is without thinking twice, prue is sloppy…

ei universe… don’t get me wrong… there is no happiness or unhappiness about it… neither am I declaring that i’m a failure… sometimes, life provokes me to make choices… and no matter how painful it is for me, i just have to choose…it is just a scheduling problem — which, at least in this writer's case, leads to a heightened sense of frustration with the shortage of time at my disposal… given all that i want to accomplish… not with my career but in reference to my heart’s delight and fulfillment…

but i am loved... and being loved... will be loved... the pieces of my life will all fall into place because of that...

Monday, January 7, 2008

bitter realities...

one more night… it’s what I prayed for… it’s the first time i wanted for the sun not to shine… I’m fine with the stars and the pale moonlight… may morning not come…

But it did… my selfish prayers weren’t heard… wake up from your dream prue… not everything can be granted…

I think those were the tightest we ever had… if only you’d let me wrap you in a box, I would just so you can’t go… but of course you had to leave… it’s part of your life…

And there was my angel…


Gaaahd, just writing about this makes me cry… the guilt and the loneliness is killing me…

The irony of my life… it can’t be perfect… it just can’t be… bitter realities must be endured…

and here i am... waiting for him to get on line... only to realize, bukas pa siya dadating... now i need the sun to shine...

i miss you angel...

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

agreeing with neil...

"may your year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness...
i hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful...
and don't forget to make some art - write - or draw - or build - or sing - or live as only you can...
and i hope somewhere this year, you surprise yourself..."

::: by neil gaiman

Neil Gaiman happens to be one of my favorite writers... first encounterd him with his series of vertigo adult literatures like Books of Magic and Constantine (which of course was made into film starring Keanu Reeves)...

and that new year greeting from him was quoted by my good friend, stanley...

i couldn't agree more with neil... and stan (i trust he believes in it kaya niya pinang-greet... hehehe!)... and if memory serves me right, this was neil's new year 'pabati' last year... hehehe!

hmmmm... i just might re-live again the good tidings...

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