PRUE HALLIWEL ::: OBSERVER OF LIFE

i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

shrinking...

it is now past three in the morning... on the way back to the condo, i was asleep... the coffee i had in starbucks wasn't much of a help... my mind's too stressed...

later, i will have to get up by 11am... i hope i can... an appointment was made in medical city... it's my first time... i wonder how the shrink will treat me... how will she handle me... how will i respond to it...

i've been some sort of an emotional tow truck to a few friends... and that's while i have my own emotional baggages to carry... i seem to have managed all these years... but perhaps, i am on the last straw... the many challenging times has taken it's toll on me...

it maybe time i seek professional help... but please, let me not be a victim of stigma... aint mental... neither am i unhealthy up there... still sane... just that, my emotional and professional stress leaves me unable to address anger management issues... and with how i look at myself and the life i live... maybe, if i talk to someone who isn't bias or guilty of prejudice, the distinct perception may result to a new approach... friends... the closest in fact has the tendency to be protective... and families too... they can't bear seeing you distraught... they just won't let you feel bad about yourself... and in so doing, unconsciously... perhaps... i think, the effect is that we fail to realize a few things and see the other light...

so, let the moolah do it's job... pay someone to evaluate your condition... with professional objectivity...

***

how do u know if what you are feeling isn't a very common thing and that you need to seek someone with professional expertise about your depression, stress and anxiety...?

when you really feel like consulting one, it's probably a good time to sign up for one...my culture, views and framework of mind isn't westernized... but i do beleive that there's nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about it... sometimes, we need the assistance of others to help us with issues we can't correct on our own...

when issues keep reoccuring and you cant let it go... when low emotions creep on you and you begin to feel powerless or overwhelmed... and causes you to feel alone...

when your feelings interfere with the normal activities that define daily living...

when you start thinking of hurting yourself or others... not just physical but borders on emotional torture...

a therapist or psychiatrist may hold the answers... may fall unreliable... but what have we got to lose aside from a few thousands...

but it isn't just the "when"... it is also about the "why"...

i impress myself that it maybe useful to bounce ideas off a professional who deals with life's issues... a neutral party who can offer experienced advice may just be incredibly useful in helping me organize my self... my thoughts... my outlook... and my feelings...

why? because you already find yourself incapable of shaking off the worries...

i want to learn to be emotionally stable... and so i pray the shrink can provide me with sensible advices...

must rest now... getting up at 11am on a saturday is difficult for me...

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My life is not extra-ordinary but it has stories to tell...

THESE ARE THE MOMENTS!!!