unconditional or something like it...

we live in a world where waiting is inevitable... it's a game we play with each other... some of us are better at it than others but we all play it... either it's us who wait... or somebody else sits and foolishly awaits our arrival...

my friends hate me for being a perennial tardee in almost all meet-ups... business or social... sometimes, the longevity of waiting ends with nothing at all... i am guilty... i make them wait and yet, no me appears...

now, my closest friends know better than to arrive on time... naturally, 6pm would mean 8pm... 10pm would mean past midnight... lunch evidently turns out to be merienda... jumping-off at the break of dawn practically results to pulling-out during rush hour...

thank god... my friends love me this much to be patient with and endure even my worst liability... disrespect for their time... nobody leaves until i've sent text message that prue is on the way... they've learned not to make fools of themselves...

i feel that the last few years of my life i have become very entwined with the waiting game... but i play the culprit... the protagonist... the villain... the selfish, inconsiderate bad guy...

so now... karma finds me... it's my turn to wait...

i have actually prepared myself for it but i guess it's true, i can never be too prepared... there's a possibility that months extend to a year... or little less than it... but still, when you are just with yourself, days seem longer... a minute can seem to be an hour...

so, that's how it feels with my friends... mas mahaba ang oras kapag ikaw ang naghihintay... now, i am threatened to suffer much much worst... christmas may happen in summer...

he says he's not sure... that it maybe best if he saves the 85K he's suppose to pay for the plane fare... i see the wisdom in that, really i do... but i am just human... i've a heart that misses... i have memories to remind me of why i want him... besides, i've been won over...

even answers now have to wait... 10 days after all soul's, a choice has to be made... will a promise be fulfilled or must wisdom rule over emotion... be practical than emotional...

what is it i want to learn in this relationship? oh yeah... unconditional love... or something like it...

i let myself fall...

I let myself fall
I let myself fall
I let myself fall
In love with you

There's no turning back
There's no turning back
There's no turning back
Since I let myself fall in love with you

Now I picture things
Now I picture things
Wedding gowns and wedding rings
Since I let myself fall in love with you

written and composed by: rosie thomas



i pray you know...

i am here, waiting...

and i wait for the sun to creep under the shadow and rest...

believing that when he gazes on us with his golden hue the next morning... we're finally together angel...

though my heart trusts all is not in vain... still... please don't make me wait much longer...

haven for tranquility...

how else to best reward ourselves for the community service' success but to wallow in paradise...



do you notice the sandbar that connects with the island on the other side? what i would give to have a resthouse in an island like it...

piper and i laid ourselves on the sand... and we were just mesmerized with the tranquility and softness of the waves... and it's more than just silence... it's about being untroubled... being calm... grabe... it took away all my manila pagod and worries... haaaaaaay... and now i feel like not working again and just head to the beach... hehehe!

prue's screen...

chase tagged me to share my screenshot... and so here it goes...



my wallpaper is actually the picture given to me by manny, one of my best buddies... it was a figurine in a Hongkong garden they featured in Urban Zone... he couldn't bring it home of course so he just took the shot... and surprisingly when we were uploading the pictures in my iphoto, he noticed i had a shot of myself with almost the same pose... hahaha! it's the picture i'm using here in my blog...

it was actually perfect... the child was still... seems to be at peace... falling asleep as he rests his head on his arms which was laid on a boulder... just like that... enjoying serenity... it is so me... wanting to be forever a child... hahaha!

my lap's kindah old... a powerbook g4... but it serves me well... has all that i need... limewire, itunes, ym, skype... and everything else goes in my dashboard... the only thing i don't have in it is the final cut software i've so long wanted...

anyway, as the routine goes, i need to tag 5 of my friends... those would be nobody else but the charmed coven of course... ei piper, paige, phoebe, leo... hmmm... that's only 4... who else... lehme see... kaye... you have all just been tagged... let us see how your desktop looks... hehehe!

by the way friends, you're suppose to post it on your blog then tag five of your kith to do the same... got it? might as well check out chase' (ham & keso) page...

i also liftd the clearer tag mechanics from chase' blog...

My Desktop Free View Instruction:

A. Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun.

You can do a screen capture by: ::this instruction i think works for non-macs::
[1] Going to your desktop and pressing the Print Scrn key (located on the right side of the F12 key). [2] Open a graphics program (like Picture Manager, Paint, or Photoshop) and do a Paste (CTRL + V). [3] If you wish, you can “edit” the image, before saving it. ::for mac users:: click on your spotlight (search) then type grab... click on grab... then from the grab menu toolbars, click capture... choose screen... that's it... if not for this tag, i may have not learned that... hehehe!

B. Post the picture in your blog. You can also give a short explanation on the look of your desktop just below it if you want. You can explain why you preferred such look or why is it full of icons. Things like that.

C. Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a Free View of their desktop as well.

D. Add your name to this list of Free Viewers with a link pointing directly to your Desktop Free View post to promote it to succeeding participants.

(grabe... is it me or is it really just my browser? i can't manage to create links in my entry.... the shortcuts aren't working... MACS can really sometimes be user unfriendly... anyway, pls refer to the links in my sidebar... thanks!)

children of the happy sun...

day 2 in bohol was bound to be the HAPPY SUN DAY despite the threat of a heavy downpour... oh well, not even the dark clouds will stop the charmed sisters...

we picked up ate marie a.k.a. phoebe from her house... her hubby and the rest of the helping hand were all ready and armed for the big day...

phoebe's hubby, el cid (now i am wondering if it's really his name...) is the lead guitarist and at times vocalist of the reggae band BrownBuds... they are Bohol's pride in the music scene...

Morris, the long haired dude and slight look-a-like of orlando bloom, is the manager... but he too has a voice to flaunt (i heard...) and can do the percussions din... in fact, he's a member of the Rage band... i'm just not sure if he's the vocalist of the group...

the dreadlocks guy is Imbot (and til now, i'm not sure if i got his nick's spelling right... hahaha!)... he is the vocalist and major attraction of the band... a hearththrob... hmp! daming kalaban! hahaha!

and there's this bald guy i was so fond of calling 'wilson'... where and how i ever got that name? i don't know... maybe he looks like the ball companion of tom hanks in 'cast away'... hahaha! but the comic guy's real name is milo...

all were such angels...

on the way to the site, we fetch the clown... surprisingly, he was wearing his costume and make-up already... seemed as excited as the rest of us... hehehe!

we were greeted with happy faces when we reached the covered area of the community... kids who despite the language barrier were able to send messages of excitement... it was kind of hard to connect with them in the beginning but who needed words, everybody just exchanged smiles... it was more than enough for us... and the sight that some even wore their sunday's best was an indication that it was a special day for them....

ate marie, being a boholana herself, hosted the gathering... i and el cid were designated photo and video documentarists while morris took charge of the music...

it started off with all of us dancing to Edu's Papaya song... hmmmmm.... wait... i knew the dance but was too shy to cause so much laughter... imagine a hippo dancing in front of so many kids... inay ko po... hahaha... later on, some of the kids joined... which actually segued to the papaya dance contest... winner brought home toys...

we weren't the only one though who prepared a number... the kids themselves rehearsed a presentation... touching indeed...

then we brought out the surprises... first on the list were the educational tools like books donated by QTV's At Your Service, the boxes of chalk and visual aids...

the kids all clapped in acknowledgment... learning will be fun now that they have a chalk to use on the board... books to read... and the walls of the daycare center will now be decorated with visual aids...

the volunteer teachers couldn't help but shed tears of joy and gladness... i was really touched... what noble hearts they have to be happy for kids na hindi naman nila anak and yet, putting their needs before theirs... sobra... such display of raw emotion...

more gifts showered that day... bagful of groceries for the parents... then more toys as prizes... and then the jollibee chicken and spaghetti... every kid was anxious to have their meal... but they didn't keep it to themselves... it was shared with parents... siblings... i noticed one kid was nibbling the raw noodles from the grocery bag... i mean, okei... hindi naman tayo sanay ng ganun... either he was too hungry or he preferred eating it that way...

but of course, pity is the last thing they need... fine... this is just me thinking aloud... i am with anyone on that, mas nakakaawa sila kung kaawaan sila... we need to see (and make them realize...) the brighter side of their life... but i am just human, now that i am staring at the pictures again, i am struck with the bitter realities of life... OA as it may sound, ganun ba talaga? some are so much less blessed... why can't it just be that everyone... as in everybody enjoys the same benefits of comfort... oh well, pardon me for being melodramatic... it just hits me sometimes...

while i was taking pictures, i passed by one girl... smiled... the next thing i know, i had this butterfly in the stomach... i was so moved... she raised her hand and offered me her chicken... i might have looked hungry myself... hahaha... but really, it was obvious she very much liked the chicken and might have been kulang pa nga considering that she was sharing it with another kid... but good god, she was offering me a bite... so touched that i wasn't able to click my cam... but who needs the pic anyway...

Morris, El Cid, Imbot and Wilson provided the entertainment... sang two of their famous songs... Biyaheng Bohol and Olah...

the kids were so excited when we showed them the Happy Sun Backpacks... they were chaotic but in a nice way... just really clamoring to have a bag full of goodies and school supplies...


and finally, to mark the moment of happiness, we fixed on every kid the I AM HAPPY pin as a declaration to the universe... we even requested everybody to chant "I AM HAPPY" over and over again...

everybody went home really happy... the badjaos... the charmed ones... and the whitelighters of brownbuds... we are all children of the happy sun.

p.s.

piper, phoebe and prue basked and played under the rain... oh yeah... the rain fell only after we were through with everything... we received with open arms the blessings of bounty that went with the downpour...

what a happy day it was!

i am happy...

why were we in bohol? whatever brought us there? i would have stayed in manila and earn from that extra week of work but instead, i had this strong urge to fly with my bestfriend to bohol... it wasn't plainly a vacation after all... what with the heavy luggages and huge balikbayan boxes and the severe heat you'd experience only in far flung provinces (i don't know... it's an observation... mas mainit talaga sa probinsiya... hahaha! not that it's a bad thing... hehehe!)

wait... just a quick thought... i'm not glorifying myself nor the intentions of our trip... but i have to say, i am amazed myself on how i saw the wisdom in our intentions... after all, i am normally a bad person... hahaha! really... you just don't know what kind of evil corrupts this big lump of lard...

piper's brainchild was born from a heart that's pure not everybody can have... and i am proud of her... the HAPPYness CAMPAIGN as symbolized by the HAPPY SUN will spread rays of sunshine to so many kids... it's her advocacy... to make people happy... to be the host of an epidemic...
i remember her telling me... "hindi siya big thing ha... it's just a personal thing..." how can it be just a personal thing... it's always a big gesture when you make someone happy... not only does it reflect your truest content in what life gives you but also how you express your state of being... and sharing is always the most noble thing to do.

to whom much is given, much is required... we all have it in our hearts to share... to give... to offer a hand... sometimes, we just need a push... but with piper, she has 2 bright and happy hearted kids to inspire her...

it was gabie and kyla who came up with the logo... it's their visualization of what a happy sun is... simple and with a very clear message... the sun smiles on us despite the adversaries in each life... a happy sun would also mean that all shall pass and that one day, we will have a happy day... such uncorrupted thoughts from piper's girls... makes me also realize, we are all HAPPY SUNS... we can be a ray of sunshine to anyone... we just need to want to be... to feel and express the want... we need to want it... will it... enjoy being the happy sun...

where then does the happy sun rise first? it was a random pick... the one with highest recall... bohol was piper's most loved place... well, anyone who has visited bohol will love it... serving as a sanctuary for endangered tarsiers... the frontiers of crystal waters and rich ocean life... the white sands... it is a natural beauty that takes away your woes...

but yet, behind the serenity and chastity of its beauty, there lies the bitter truth... a badjao community who have been naturally deprived of comfort... the adults and ancestors may have adjusted to their way of life... but what about the kids? now that all on earth seem to advance and develop, are they able to cope up? it is funny... give them a celfone or ipod, it won't serve it's purpose... advancement isn't what they need to cope with life...
just simple joys... it's all they would want... comfort... and the promise that they will have a chance... just a chance for a better future.,,

perhaps it was pre-destined that a friend from our previous program decided to settle in bohol... who would know that one day, she'll be an instrument and the happy sun's link... she was quick to reply to piper's request... Ate Marie found the badjao community in Dauis, Bohol.
the badjao daycare center was DSWD's recommendation... from what piper was told, their classes had to be suspended due to lack of chalk.. yes... just a meager chalk.. the ones we just play with when we were in school (i play with them...what a silly ass i was)... the ones that can be bought for 60 pesos per box... there's even a 20/box... but even at a low cost, the children's education will have to cease and wait... no one wants that... not even the volunteer teachers... it is just what reality presents for the moment... resources are limited...
they receive support from the local government unit, albeit not enough... for what reason in such deficient action, we never intended to find out anymore...

the daycare center had insufficient books and other educatioonal tools... the kids have to brave narrow planks just to reach it even... but unfortunately for one kid, it was his road to a short life... news was one kid died the week before we arrived... he fell from the planks... oh god, the price that has to be paid for education... the only best way to see it is at least now, the same kid is now an angel...
during our ocular, we were surprised to actually witness huts being constructed... all the while, i thought the badjaos still settle on sea... according from the dswd representative, they are trying so much to persuade every badjao family to build homes on land surface... livelihood training is being provided for parents too... thank god they're willing to leave their domain... i've been to other regions and unlike the badjaos, most that i have witnessed weren't embracing opportunities...
the sun has smiled even before we came... all they needed was a reminder that they are not forgotten... that there's a reason to be continually happy... the badjao children especially... every kid has a right to good food... a chance to play with toys... to be educated... they deserve to be happy... even for one day, we can attempt to instill the meaning of happiness...

and so we left the badjao community HAPPY... knowing that when we return the next day, 70 kids will have a chance at the feeling... and to know that we are all provided the oportunity to influence lives is something we thank God for...

what surprises await the kids anyway... hmmm...

there's the happy sun bag which was customized... part from the fact that it carries goodies, it can be used by the kids when classes resume...
then there are books donated by friends from QTV's AT YOUR SERVICE... (nice noh? dos and siete can work together for a common cause..)
and the boxes of chalk..
toys...
chicken and spaghetti...
and there's grocery bags too for the parents...
and for entertainment, we'll bring along a clown...
and bohol's BrownBuds, the region's prime reggae band who volunteered to perform for the kids...
then of course, to serve as a reminder to the HAPPY feeling, the happy sun pins...

FOR FURTHER REFERENCE: you are all invited to please hit on piper's BRATTYNELLA blog and the HAPPYness CAMPAIGN blog... we are more than glad to share our happy experience with you...
VIDEO COURTESY: ate marie a.k.a. phoebe halliwel... mwah!