PRUE HALLIWEL ::: OBSERVER OF LIFE

i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...

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PRUE SAYS...

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Sunday, September 9, 2007

i will hurt again...

far too often, I have heard and even said it myself in the past that I am giving up on love... but the older I get... the more pain it invites... after my recuperation period, the more I come to realize... for better or for worse, love is my life... and my life is about love...

what a sad desparate world it will be for the person who hides themselves inside their mind guarding zealously their heart to keep it from getting broken... that will never be me...

yes, love is my weakness... but it is also my strength... (how timely... now paige knows what i meant...) love is the make or break of my life...

and yes too, love always finds a way... when it topples my world, it is still love that gets me back on my feet...

angel asks if i believe that love should hurt... and i said, "it can't be love if it doesn't hurt..."

i was so motivated to share my thoughts about the big L again...

love…..it can be an incredibly wonderful experience or it can be just another lousy 4-letter word.

if you love deeply, be ready to hurt deeply... the depths of pain will only equal the height of the joy...

the only person who can claim his heart has never been scarred is the same person who has never experienced those gut-wrenching long nights that seemed to never end.. or someone who as never felt the relief that morning had broken...

my heart tells me to be honest with him... just to prove a point... to shed more skin so i can bare my inner self...

angel now knows my last experience of pain...

I loved deeply with all my heart... and that was a risk... being blinded then, i foolishly told myself, the higher the risk, the greater the reward... great deal of stupidity... even up to now, my inner wounds continue to heal... you had to know angel... you need to know i am fragile...

i didn't expect he'd ask... will I love like that again? i didn't know what to say... or perhaps, i was afraid to let him know me too much...

maybe yes, maybe not... how can i ever tell... my mind says 'yes but i will be more careful'... but can we really tell our future actions which so depends on how hard we are struck...

maybe i will risk everything again for love... but i pray my man doesn't make me... i can't afford to risk everything again angel... i may but i can't anymore... if that was your way of knowing me more, might as well let you in real deep...

"it explains why i don't expect too much anymore... because it reduces the amount of risks... i will take what is offered... i will stll give more than what i receive... only this time, no more expectations... after all, what is there to expect when what you need is being given even without asking..."

"sabi mo ako angel mo..."

"yes, i mean that..."

"ikaw ang angel ko..."

you didn't know angel... but what you said made me cry... i find it in my heart to just beleive you...

now i know it wasn't just a term of endearment...

and yes, i will hurt again...

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My life is not extra-ordinary but it has stories to tell...

THESE ARE THE MOMENTS!!!