text ka-kornihan...

fritci was flooding my unit with her collection of text jokes... and wow, wala akong panama sa ganyanan... other than the fact that i'm not into such ka-kornihan (na pinagtatawanan ko rin naman... hahaha!), my other friends really don't send me any at all for the simple reason that i don't appreciate forwarded messages... but anyway, we were on the roll for non-sense messages kaya naman i hit the net and found not text jokes but either pick-up or pang-inis lines...hahaha!

in fairness, natawa ako sa iba dito...

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D only people whom I greet "Good morning" r those who r smart, cute n malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan, e di Good afternoon na lang sayo!

Lord saw u hungry so He created food. He saw u thirsty so He created H20. He saw u n d dark so He created light. He saw u alone so He created me.

Ang ganda ng umaga becoz of u. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about u. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro u na lang ng u. Sabi ni doc, may be because I miss u. Gud A.M.

God created the world in 6 days, but it took him centuries to come up with someone as sweet, as kind, as cute as me…Kala mo kaw no?

When u feel left out n all alone, just try to close ur eyes 4 a moment n think of me. Afterwards, u will suddenly smile n say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Wen God created music, der was ur voice; wen God created hapines, der was u; wen God created smartnes, cutenes, and gud luks, der was me...SAN KA BA KC NAGPUNTA!

U've got sex appeal, u've got style, u've got intelligence, & u've got class. U've got d face & u've got d body but I've got d wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

Relationships r like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no u turn, no left turn, but d best so far is give way and keep right.

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face ur fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

F u reciv it dis mins cute ako, f u save it cute talga ako, f u edit it cute pa rin ako, f u 4ward it pinagkaklat mong cute ako, but f u delit it naiinggit ka dahil cute ako.

Di ko kayang tanggapin, na wala ka ng txt sakin. Napakasakit na marinig na nagtitipid ka na sa akin.

Dear fellow texters. Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Just wanna giv u a hug to show u my gratitude that uve been my part of daily expenses. Joke lang.

When you feel that the sun is not shining on you... If you cant see the light coz something is blocking your sight & your losing your direction. . MAY MUTA KA !

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away, I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away, I wrote your name every where! Langya hinuli ako ng pulis!

How I wish I could see you today, I really miss you. I try to be there after my work, kaya lang baka ako matrapik… baka di ako umabot! Anong oras ba magsasara ang Zoo?

Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. Its not because your cute but because my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's yours?

They can recycle paper till as if its new, reclaim cans and jars and old bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as ME! Kala mo ikaw noh?!

Para kang KUTO, I can't get you out of my head; para kang MUTA, I can't take off my eyes; para kang PUSTISO, I can't smile without you; para kang UTOT, tahimik pero may dating!

If you love someone… set him free… if he comes back… may naiwan lang yun, wag kang mag ilusyon.

I sent a flock of angels to stay with you throughout the night, 1 of them returned to me this morning and said "grabe ang cute nya!" binatukan ko nga kasi mali ang binantayan nya eh!

You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.

I've just heard a funny joke. I can't stop laughing. Hahahaha! Want to hear it. Biruin more…..cute ka raw? Hahahaha!

D only people whom I greet "Good morning" r those who r smart, cute n malakas ang sex appeal. So, pano ba yan, e di Good afternoon na lang sayo!

Lord saw u hungry so He created food. He saw u thirsty so He created H20. He saw u n d dark so He created light. He saw u alone so He created me.

Ang ganda ng umaga becoz of u. Ang ganda ng dream ko, it was all about u. Ang sakit ng ulo ko, puro u na lang ng u. Sabi ni doc, may be because I miss u. Gud A.M.

God created the world in 6 days, but it took him centuries to come up with someone as sweet, as kind, as cute as me…Kala mo kaw no?

When u feel left out n all alone, just try to close ur eyes 4 a moment n think of me. Afterwards, u will suddenly smile n say, text ko nga ang cute na yon!

What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much.

Wen God created music, der was ur voice; wen God created hapines, der was u; wen God created smartnes, cutenes, and gud luks, der was me...SAN KA BA KC NAGPUNTA!

U've got sex appeal, u've got style, u've got intelligence, & u've got class. U've got d face & u've got d body but I've got d wrong number… Sorry ha, mali pala!

Relationships r like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no u turn, no left turn, but d best so far is give way and keep right.

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

GMA opened a savings account at Westmont Bank. The janitor saw the specimen signature she signed . . . " Nora Aunor."

Newsflash #30: Watch out for this. Sen. Tessie Aquino Oreta to make public apology on TV. She'll do it on "Keep on Dancing".

Newsflash #33: Erap agrees to step down . . . the U.S. government has granted him asylum with his family. Medyo madedelay lang because he still cannot decide which family to bring.

An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'I told you he was stupid'

Kung kahangahanga ka, CRUSH ang tawag sa iyo. Kung mabait at matalino, IDOL! Pero kung kamukha kta, ano pang iniintay mo! MAG ARTISTA KA NA!

TRIVIA: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the brain's natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can't find a friend, I can lend you a mirror.

When I was lost you were there, when I was down you were there, when i was bankrupt you were there, when I almost died you were there... Teka, baka ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko!

If you are alone I'll be your shadow, if you want to cry I'll be your shoulder, if you want a hug I'll be your pillow, if you need to be happy I'll be your smile, if you need money wait for your salary.

Why do we sleep? Bcoz we need to take a break from txting. Have a nice dream while texting. :-)

Kinukulong lahat ng text addict na cute!!! Ingat ka ha! Kakatakas ko lang.

What is the difference between cute and feeling cute? Cute is the one who sends this and feeling cute s d one reading this. He...He...he... Txt mo sa iba para ikaw naman ang cute!

Nasa bundok ka, mahuhulog cel mo at syota mo, anong gagawin mo? Magpakatotoo ka Brother! Sagipin mo ang cel at sigaw mo sa syota mo, text na lang kita!...

Bware of a txt stalker who sends a mssg like this: "Bware of a txt stalker who sends a mssg like this." :-))

Say gud about urself n ull b called arrogant; say bad about urself n ull b believed. :-))

We 4giv those who bore us but cannot 4giv those whom we bore. :-))

D only thing that can stop hair from fallin is d flooor. :-))

Dear fellow texters, I know we are all experiencing the same problems. It's really disappointing to receive delayed messages. That's why as early as now, I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas!

I looked at d sky, d sky is beautiful. I looked at you…..I looked at d sky na lang ulit. Gud A.M.

Bkit xciting ang txt? 1. kc pwede magpacute ang panget. 2. pwede single ang married. 3. sa txt bida ang cnungaling. 4. sa txt, bistado ang kuripot.

Sumtyms u myt catch me staring at u.Its not bcoz ur cute,bt bcoz my mom told me dat devils hav tails and im wndring wers urs.

When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear. Cause love is blind!

Looks may capture the eyes, but it's d personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both!

I'm afraid to die not because it will hurt or I don't know what will happen, but because I might be waiting for you in Heaven and be disappointed.

Wag kang pupunta sa lugar na walang signal, kasi parang may sumpa na "di ka yayaman". Sabi kasi, "the subscriber cannot be rich".

How can you know if a person is cute? First, he or she has a poor memory. Second - umn … I forgot na!

How to spot a texter? 1. may muscle ang thumb 2. barok magsalita 3. may bangga ang auto 4. lagging nakayuko 5. nakasimangot dahil di makasend.

Heaven has less angles tonight, coz I sent a few to keep you warm and tight.

Each of us has his own fear but sooner or later we must face it. It takes a lot of guts to overcome it. So don't be afraid to face ur fear. Go ahead, take a bath. Good a.m.

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never loose your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

F u reciv it dis mins cute ako, f u save it cute talga ako, f u edit it cute pa rin ako, f u 4ward it pinagkaklat mong cute ako, but f u delit it naiinggit ka dahil cute ako.

Di ko kayang tanggapin, na wala ka ng txt sakin. Napakasakit na marinig na nagtitipid ka na sa akin.

Dear fellow texters. Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas.

Just wanna giv u a hug to show u my gratitude that uve been my part of daily expenses. Joke lang.

When you feel that the sun is not shining on you... If you cant see the light coz something is blocking your sight & your losing your direction. . MAY MUTA KA !

I may not be pepsi, the choice of the new generation. I may not be cocacola, only the real thing. I may not be nido, the worlds #1 but I can be PLDT, clearly for you.

I wrote your name in the sky but the wind blew it away, I wrote your name in the sand but the water washed it away, I wrote your name every where! Grabe hinuli ako ng pulis! They can recycle paper till as if its new, reclaim cans and jars and old bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as ME! Kala mo ikaw noh?!

Para kang KUTO, I can't get you out of my head; para kang MUTA, I can't take off my eyes; para kang PUSTISO, I can't smile without you; para kang UTOT, tahimik pero may dating!

If you love someone… set him free… if he comes back… may naiwan lang yun, wag kang mag ilusyon.

I sent a flock of angels to stay with you throughout the night, 1 of them returned to me this morning and said "grabe ang cute nya!" binatukan ko nga kasi mali ang binantayan nya eh!

You're the reason why I have sleepless nights, you are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight, I'm thinking of you when I lay down at night, you are the reason why I shout "mommy may mumo!"

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Looks may capture the eyes but it's the personality that captures the heart. Kainis, I have both.