i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...
HAVE TIME FOR YOURSELF... it has been so long since i had one and i'd say, my odyssey to camiguin will be written off as one of those 'best five days of my life'...
but i'll throw in the headlines for the meantime while i wash off my vacation hangover... let my bugshots treat you to an eyeful of natural wonders and historical riches...
such as the white island... where the sandbar is immaculately or radiantly white my pictures are washed out... 
katibawasan falls...
and 30 minutes off the island's coastline is another white island... Mantigue...
the natives of Sagay town flaunts of resourcefulness and ingenuity with their almost 200 year old Sto. Rosario church... the chandeliers were actually made from twigs...
and since the caretaker of the Corrales centennial house was away... i can only marvel from outside... 
and one hour away from Mambajao, the town capital of the island, is the Sunken Cemetery's Cross landmark...
the sun was about to rest when we reached the Sunken Cemetery... and what i witnessed took my breathe away... 
now, being there at that moment really gave me the quivers...
the island born of fire provided me not only the chance to stay away from the city hustle and bustle... but also the moment for contemplation... realizing how life can be simple and yet, be locked in joy...
i am glad the island embraced me...
P.S.
just an initial salvo on my camiguin get-away...
music and movies for my ipod... new games and movies too in my psp... speakers... celfones and chargers... digicam... oh, yeah... books to nurture me... shades... pelican case and rubber ducky... gadgets and must haves... check!
5 days worth of free-spirited clothing... affirmative! oh and yeah, my ticket... confirmed!
one more night and i will be in new sanctuary...
CAMIGUIN... it is my first time to be with you... i hope you treat me well... hehehe!
Sun, sand and self... beautiful slumber!
My Dream: are you having taping later?
Prue: nope... actually hoping you'd ask me out...
My Dream: yikes! i can't. busy night eh.
Prue: *sad face*
My Dream: hehehe! kidding! Dinner?
Prue: and i'm free in an hour... yaaaaahooooo! are you done?
My Dream: Meeting is almost done.
Prue: may we watch Dark Knight later? after dinner?
My Dream: dami pang tao. pila. hehehe!
Prue: Hmpf! ok...
My Dream: coffee though
Prue: til morning...
***
as usual, we pigged out...
he was craving for crabs and i indulged... shelled seafoods happen to be my favorite... 
uhmmm... waiter, we'll have 1 singaporean crab... 1 steamed crab... boneless pork belly in pineapple sauce... crab salad... and.... chicharon bulaklak... 
hahaha! it's cholesterol night...
seemed madami but lo and behold... ubos!!! hehehe! 
i asked julia to come with us by the way... i can't be alone with my dream like the last time... somebody has to be consistenly breaking the ice or i'll go crying again... dyahe na... i told my dream though i invited julia and he was just fine with it...
after dinner, we had coffee in starbucks morato till 4:30am... saaaaaaraaaap... just stared at him.... and i think, memorize ko na ang mukha niya...
and when then the subject on 'significant other" came up, i kidded him... he's contented with me... hehehe! and he just smiled... hahaha! as usual... the gentleman my dream is...
P.S.
i wonder, do we intend to make Friday night... our night? hehehe! sana...
just before going home, my friends had a brief sharing of how our high school days were...
and so i thought of posting pics from my early teen years but i only have very few in my iphoto... anyway, i do have my baby pics though...
wala lang... it just brought me a different kind of "high" to go down memory lane again... 
wasn't a prue then... just my mom and dad's baby boy... hahaha!
my ate and dete loves me dearly... and i so love them too... i can't imagine living without them... 
betch by golly... hahaha... what a pose... early signs...? i reckon my dad wasn't around when these pictures were being taken... bwahaha!
with my ate, cousin juliet and dete... is it obvious that i grew up in a lady's world? hehehe! i remember all three of them adored leif garett and shaun cassidy... no wonder i grew up loving the hardy boys too... hahaha!
ang mga mata ni anghelita... at ang paling ng ulo... haaaay... the making of a prue... toingk!
whoa! i hate my hair... 
my dete will kill me for posting this pic... hahaha! if i remember it right, we were in rustan's cubao waiting for my ate to finish her aero... and while waiting, we ate at yumyum tree... 
that's my japanese spitz dog... Gringo... oh, how i miss having a pet...
HAAAAAAAY... can we turn back time?
P.S.
i hope my friends and other blogmates post theirs too... hehehe!
it pains to be alone because i am constantly thinking of my dream...
and how i wish the rain would stop... huh! i always find the rain a moment of bliss but lately, it only drowns me as my sorrow swallows me whole...
it will be difficult for me to commit myself to anyone else... i have come full circle... finally admitting that if it won't be my dream... then i'd settle focusing on the relationship i am building with myself...
but until another him rescues me from him, i will still be waiting...
***
You've got your ball...
you've got your chain...
tied to me tight,
tie me up again...
who's got their claws...
in you my friend.
Into your heart I'll beat again...
Sweet like candy to my soul...
Sweet you rock...
and sweet you roll.
Lost for you...
I'm so lost for you
You come crash into me...
And I come into you...
I come into you...
In a boys dream...
In a boys dream...
Touch your lips just so I know...
In your eyes, love, it glows so...
I'm bare boned and crazy for you...
When you come crash...
into me, baby.
And I come into you...
In a boys dream...
In a boys dream...
If I've gone overboard...
Then I'm begging you...
to forgive me...
in my haste.
When I'm holding you...
so close to me...
Oh and you come crash...
into me, baby.
And I come into you...
Hike up your skirt a little more...
and show the world to me.
Hike up your skirt a little more...
and show your world to me...
In a boys dream.. In a boys dream.
Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted
the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me
lifting this post from piper's blog (whose link is in the charmed coven)... i hope my bff won't mind me reposting it...
***
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
For Prue...
I wrote this song after reading the last entry on pruesoul.
UNTITLED still...
written on July 15, 2008, 7:39 pm for my bff, Prue
Verse 1
Kailangan ba ng dahilan kung bakit tayo nandito
Sino bang nagpilit na dito magkatagpo
Hindi inaasahang, lalalim ang pinagsamahan
Sa piling mo, hindi ako lalayo
Di man mapagbigyan….
Ref:
Ng langit….ang tayong dalawang habang buhay magkasama
Sa akin…Lang ang pagkakaibigan sana’y wag mabubura
Kung ito’y isang pelikula
Walang ending na makikita
Kung ikaw at ako’y isang storya…sana’y may ikwento pa.
Verse 2
Puwede bang pakinggan mo ang sinasabi ng puso ko
Matagal ko nang gustong ipakita na ikaw ang totoong
Dahilan na ako’y nakatanaw
Sa bukas, paglubog ng araw
Sa piling mo, di ako lalayo
Di man mapagbigyan…..
Ng langit….ang tayong dalawang habang buhay magkasama
Sa akin…Lang ang pagkakaibigan sana’y wag mabubura
Kung ito’y isang pelikula
Walang ending na makikita
Kung ikaw at ako’y isang storya…sana’y may ikwento pa.
-- i can sing this to you prue, if you give me red wine! hahahaha. love you!
***
piper, thanks for the pail of tears... woooohoooo... you know me through and through... of all, it is you who can read my frame of mind... the beats of my heart... every sentiment, every woe, every regret... every frustration, every dream... even MY DREAM...
OA ako and i know you know that too... i'm a hopeless romantic... i cry even in the simplest of joys... piiiiiiippeeeeeer, b-eeeeeeff-eeeeeeff... prue is saaaaaaaaad.... reeaaaally...
help me pray pleeeeaaasssse... he just can't forget me... he did promise me though... he did... and i am so glad of his reaction... indeed, he never pulls away... and lets me be myself...
mimosa, his friend, told me last sunday, not to cry anymore... that she is sure, i am special to MY DREAM... and that she swears MY DREAM won't forget about me...
piiiiiiiiiipppeeeeer, i want to embrace you now... and dete too... and everybody else who is a friend...
i know this really darkens the nature of my blog... but what can i do? writing helps me release... i am sorry... ei, blogmates, readers, friends, everybody... i am sorry... we all have our own baggages... you are most free to leave anytime in the same way that you are most welcome to visit anytime...
red wine? hehehe! sure piper... i love you bff... you know that na... but you think he knows i love him? like really love him? siguro naman noh... siguro naman...
ang galing noh... there really are people who can be such a ray of sunshine... just the sight... just seeing them smile... all our worries just flee... our burdens lighten... and it's so difficult when they move somewhere else...
funny... jay and i was looking for a pirated copy of the LOVE AFFAIR (which happens to be my greatest love story) so we can rip it for my boss' iPod... and now, i recall that line when Warren asked Anette, "are you happy?"... "i guess i am happy when i don't want to be anywhere else but where i already am?"... "do you want to be somewhere else now?"... "no..."
yes... i want to be somewhere else now... actually, anywhere... as long as he is there...
never thought that it will have this impact on me... that it will hit me this hard... we're not really saying goodbyes... it's merely geograophics... yet, i feel like it's so much more...
have you ever had that feeling of reassurance that even without committment... even in the absence of a formal relationship... for as long as that person is always in sight... reachable... accessible... anytime... just take that few steps towards his office... andun na... makikita mo na siyang nakangiti... it's enough... enough to believe you can still be happy...
it's just really going to be different... it will be for me... sanay ako na kapag hinanap ko siya... pwede akong mag-inarte sa office niya and that he'd just smile...
that when he visits my office... i can demand for that embrace...
that anytime i have something for him... i'll just text him and voila, he's there na...
i can't ask him anymore "balik ka pa ofc?"... hindi na... kasi wala na...
tama na nga... bahala na si God... sabi nga niya sa akin, IN FAITH... sakit na mata saka lalamunan ni prue...
God ha... wag mo pabayaan ako... kami... alam mo naman na kung gaano ako ka-OA... so please... ipaalala mo ako sa kanya palagi... mabait naman ako kahit papaano... i never demanded... from him or from you about US... yun na lang hiling ko... wag niya ako kakalimutan... kasi totoo yun... alam ko na ngayon, MY DREAM is MY ANGEL...
***
until i have piper's melody, let RAINBOW CONNECTION be our song... thanks to the K Collection... it was timely.... a sad timing though...
Why are there so many songs about rainbows...
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions...
but only illusions...
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told...
and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong...
wait and see.
Someday we'll find it...
the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
What's so amazing...
that keeps us star gazing...
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it...
the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell.
We know that it's probably...
magic.
Have you been half asleep...
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is it the sweet sound...
that calls the young sailor.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times...
to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday well find it...
the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
071508
tuesday
1:30am
and she sang... "we could be in love..."...
asking the audience after, "paano mo sasabihin sa isang tao na gusto mo siya?"...
none from the audience responded... i doubt if anybody was receptive...
except for me... silently... i whispered... YOU DON'T! I DON'T!
i'm simply thankful for the friendship i am offered... for the times when i am heard... for the few times we've shared dinner... for the 'late' mornings over coffee... and for that image of a smiling face which you never deprived me...
even that pat on the back for every tight embrace is already an overwhelming joy...
it still isn't Thursday but like you say, IN FAITH... which is why, also IN FAITH, i trust HE won't let you forget me... hehehe! serious yun ha...
wala na... i've no reason to look forward to Fridays na... no more skinhead and poknat na... hehehe! i'll surely miss the guy who loves black shirts...
it's a bitter sweet feeling... but really, i am happy 'coz i know you are... despite the dilemma on leaving your workmates, i know for a fact, Thursday is what you want.
just let me be melo-dramatic this one time... A BIG THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! for letting me be myself and not pulling away...
i never had the chance to thank you... perhaps even with this built, i can be a little shy... hahaha! you just don't know how much you light up my day... even without intending to... without effort...
i guess... no... i am sure... YOU ARE MY ANGEL! you have been all along... i just realized now... IKAW PALA ANG ANGEL KO! GOD SENT!
and so i am praying HE doesn't make you forget me... that you just stay as a FRIEND...
in the same way that HE brought YOU to me, may HE let me KEEP YOU!
PLEASE PROMISE that you won't be a comet...
prue
P.S.
CONGRATS! Be safe always...
***
when i did the letter, i couldn't help but cry... i never had that feeling nor realization, i had difficulty surrendering myself to anyone... and regard that person as an ANGEL...
now i know why... after mr. WWE, nobody really came close to being an angel... except for him... i've had my share of relationships... of love... but the one relationship i can never have is from the man whose presence is always felt in my heart... no matter how distant he is...
he is my TRUE ANGEL... i just failed to see it...
what do you feel like doing now? yeah... this very minute... a spur of the moment thing that you will really enjoy...
oh well... here are the 'top thoughts' of my friends and officemates...
so ikaw, anong gusto mong gawin sa mga oras na ito?
ako? at 10:43am of Monday? when all i can see from the rain are tears...
be on the road... with him... bathe in the rain... with him... make memories... with him... waste time... with him... do senseless conversations... with him... laugh... with him... anything... just anything... as long as it is with him... with MY DREAM... before one of us wakes up and realizes all is naught...
real or fake?
sana ganyan din ang epek ng berocca sa tao... bwahaha!
P.S.
of course it's fake... pure CG...in any case, aaaaangg gaaaallliiiiiiing!!!
cosmic ex: musta?
me thinking: (uy naka-alala... ngarag ako... mamaya na!)
***
2 minutes after...
my dream: mabuti naman ako :) hehe u?
me thinking: (huh! kagabi pa yung text ah... okay na din,at least, sumaagot... haaaaay... yung iba nga diyan,di niya pinapansin... bwahahaha!)
prue: just fyn...emotional strains w _______ though... haaaay... sana no strings attached na lang... anyway,so what's the latest w u? r u sure to leave na?
me thinking: (how about keeping me even when you leave?)
my dream: wel, ______ is lovable inspite and despite everything. yup,sure na.just waiting for developments.
me thinking: (sana u don't forget about me... you just don't know how much you light up my day... my life...sad that i don't have the same impact... haaaay! pwede bang kalimutan muna natin morality...?)
prue: wel, ______ is lovable inspite and despite everything. @@ AS USUAL... SABI KO NA NGA BA YAN SASABIHIN MO! @@ yup,sure na.just waiting for developments. @@ DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT SEEING ME... OR ELSE,I'LL RLY KILL YOU... Hehehe! @@
me thinking: (i know naman you will see me pa rin... in fairness to you,i appreciate your simple gestures and the fact that you let me love you... bukong-buko mo na ako.)
my dream: hehe! i will.
me thinking: (gaaaaaaaaaahd... ibang klase ka!!! graaabeee... without doing anything, you can make me cry... sana talaga naging babae ako...para allowed akong umarte... hahaha!)
prue: have a nyc day now. :) :) :)
me thinking in tears: (i love you... always...)
my dream: :)
***
prue: _____, kanino recording label ang... ...let me know within the day. tnx.
neggie: okie po...
***
and i am still here... tip-tap-tip-tap... david cook sings... darn... it never reached that stage... but still,yeah... you will always be my baby... futah... naiiyak ako!!!
ano na nga ba kahulugan ng malungkot? ah...oo nga pala... ako yun! bwahaha! leche flan!
***
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
You'll always be a part of me (oooohhhh)
I'm part of you indefinitely (oooohhhh)
Boy don't you know you can't escape me (ooooohhhhhh)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (and we will linger on)
Time cant erase a feeling this strong (ohhhh)
No way you're never gonna shake me (oh baby)
Ooh darlin cause you'll always be my baby
You and I will always be
No way your never gonna shake me
No way your never gonna shake me
You and I will always be
my oasis awaits me... soon, i will attune again to the forces that brought me to life... 
silence...
calmness...
serenity... 
in union...
from being lethargic, i will retreat to a life of harmony...
Show me the way Lord...
