PRUE HALLIWEL ::: OBSERVER OF LIFE

i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i have just lived the length of it... i want to also have lived the width of it as well... smiling when the sun rises... dreaming until the sun hides... but for now, i'm letting go... and this goodbye isn't just a new start... it confirms my submission to waiting... while searching...

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PRUE SAYS...

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Monday, September 15, 2008

piper says, prue says... (thoughts on love)

of course everybody's free to read on... i've my bff piper's consent to let everbody eavesdrop on our exchange of thoughts about love and LDR (long distance relationship)...

most times, piper and prue are on the same plane... and more often than not, our wavelengths bring us crossing the same road on the same boat...

and so here's a mouthful to both wise, sensitive, brave hearted and stale, clueless and inexperienced men... definitely not for the faint of hearts... hahaha! may your ires not be irked...

piper says: Ito na nga ba ang sinasabi ko. Kaya nga pala ayoko magka-boyfriend...kasi ayoko ng stress.

prue says: yes, sometimes having a boyfriend is stressful... and sustaining the fire in the relationship even more... worst, when you carry the guy on your back... bigat magbuhat... mahirap kumarga... nakakapagod umalalay...

piper says: i can just see my friends doing THE FACE saying, "asssuuuu....eto na naman si evette"...

prue says: hmmmm. didn't make that face... instead, "hahaha... napagod na si piper bumaba."

piper says: I am tired. After almost 6 months, yup...I'm exhausted. Eh kasi naman, ang tagal na sakin ng 6 months noh. I don't think I can still go on.

prue says: 6 months isn't your longest... you've had more strenuous and unbearable "relationships" over a longer period... you tried and now your tired... came early because i think, on this one, you gave more... hmmm... a different piper... maagang nagsipag... maagang nagbigay... maaagang nag-alay ng sobra... maagang napagod... be it known to you piper, prue admired you though... you had and showed faith... but faith isn't all that keeps a relationships work.

piper says: My attempt to explain why I am tired:

1. There's so much distance between us. Thinking of when to see each other again is tiring. Especially when you are the only one thinking. Haha.

prue says: ouch! did you expect otherwise piper? foolish but again, you had the faith...

piper says: 2. there's so much distance between us... when it comes to our views on things. Really, this is major...and sad. Diba pag trinanslate mo to sa mga legal cases, ang tawag dito IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES? Eh diba pag may IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES KAYO, ground ito for annulment? So weh pano? ha? ha? Pano na? Ha? haaaay.....

prue says: differences? yes... but irreconcilable? it maybe reconcilable but how much are both willing to give... again, mahirap pag isa lang... kaya compromise... kaya reconcile... it requires both... it can't just be the piper... bias ako... i know you very well... and i know little of him... by the way, ikaw ang drained kasi it was you who gave more... he is giving less to it, kaya hindi pa siya ubos... gets?
i'm sure you do... people who give more tend to grow tired earlier than the rest...

piper says: 3. There's so much distance between us....when it comes to values. Ang values, subjective. Alam ko yun. Hindi ko iniiba ang values ni dreads. Alam ko na yun eh. Ang tanong, kaya bang magsama ng dalawang taong magkaiba ang values? Di nga, puwede ba yun?

prue says: so much distance in terms of values? naku... i say, hindi... imposible... o cge na nga... possibly... it can be easily said that again, it's just a matter of compromising or respecting each other's values... if one is willing to give up his own or atleast learn from the other, why not... but why would one give up his own clear set of values... it is what makes up a person... siya yun kasi siya yun... let me reiterate, CLEAR SET OF VALUES... CLEAR SET HA... not having a clear set of values is most likely not having any at all... get the drift? Prue's stand is... pwedeng magmahalan ang dalawang taong magkaiba ang values pero hindi sila pwedeng magsama... they will only doom themselves... they can only dream of living a lifetime together... totohanin ang panaginip kung pareho na kayo ng pananaw sa buhay... take your item no. 4 piper...

piper says: 4. There's so much distance between us....when it comes to future-planning. Dreads lives in the NOW. -- which is also a good thing. I live in the NOW and the FUTURE.

prue says: kung hindi niya iniisip ang future pero ikaw iniisip mo, hindi kaya maiwanan siya pero dahil mahal mo siya, aalalayan mo siya para sabay kayo or makasabay siya... pero hindi naman pwedeng ikaw lang ang handa para bukas...

piper says: Dreads knows what he can do and dwells on what he cannot do. I know what I WANT and I know HOW TO GET IT.

prue says: paano nasabi na he knows what he can do? i think he doesn't know what he can do... he dwells on what he cannot do because it's his convenient excuse for not knowing what he want... o baka naman talagang ayaw mag-effort kaya maging sa ibang bagay, dun na lang tayo sa kumbinyente... hindi kaya? kumbinyente kayang hintayin na lang natin kung anong ibibigay ng buhay...

piper says: Dreads is a dreamer. I am a dreamer and a doer.

prue says: a dreamer alone wakes up to nothingness in neverworld... piper makes dreams come true because she's a doer... hindi pwedeng isang tao lang ang tumupad sa panaginip ng dalawang tao...

piper says: Dreads takes his sweet time. I am sweet...and believes TIME should not be wasted.

prue says: taking the sweet time is for the much blessed in life... for those who have very less, time can't be their luxury... english 'yan para hindi masakit sa tenga at mata... kapag tinagalog ko, masakit ang maisusulat ko about this one...

piper says: Dreads can afford to kill time for 24 hours. I think 24 hours a day is not enough, dapat at least 28 hours ang isang araw.

prue says: piper... you can always borrow from the next day... hahaha! huminahon ka... i feel otherwise... i want to shorten the day... i can't wait for christmas...hahaha!

piper says: Yes. I am citing our differences. eh ano ngayon, pagod ako eh. wala kong paki. hihihi. di nga, nakakapanghina ito sa totoo lang.

prue says: of course you're tired with this one... it's only you who thinks of the your (plural) future... most times (let's give it to him, the very few times, may ginawa naman siya...) it's only you who do things for you (plural)... eh ikaw lang siyempre ang gagawa dahil ikaw lang ang may pahalaga sa oras...

aaaaah... dito pa lang pala ang questions... hahaha! so mahabang blog-an pala ito... eh okay... game ako... pag-ibig ba naman ang pag-usapan eh... hahaha! dito na tayo magkakatalo...

piper says: Which leads me to these questions:

QUESTION # 1: CAN LOVE REALLY EXIST BETWEEN TWO UNEQUALS?

prue says: a classic isyu 101 topic...

my stand is... YES, LOVE CAN EXIST BETWEEN TWO UNEQUALS... in every aspect... no matter what kind or form.

Our stand will of course vary depending on how we view love... what we think of it...

Love for me is more than just an emotion, it is a will to surrender and sacrifice...

With that, how can love not exist between two unequals?

Now here's the thing... WILL LOVE WORK BETWEEN TWO UNEQUALS?

Sticking to my definition of love, YES, IT WILL WHEN ONE OR BOTH IS WILLING TO SURRENDER AND SACRIFICE.

But for HOW LONG WILL IT WORK?

Until one is still willing to surrender and sacrifice...

so DOES LOVE EVER DIE?

YES, IT DOES... WHEN EVENTUALLY, NOT EVEN ONE IS WILLING TO SACRIFICE AND SURRENDER.

but shouldn't love be eternal?

YES, if you are already celestial...

not because it ended it means it's not love... everything in life comes full circle...

piper says: QUESTION # 2: WHEN YOU'RE TIRED, DO YOU JUST REST?

prue says: yes... i rest... if i don't, i will definitely burn out... and so will my heart...

piper says: QUESTION # 3: IS THIS CONDITIONAL LOVE? Magpakatotoo tayo, mahirap ang UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. May ganun ba talaga?

prue says: Yes, that is conditional love... and magpapakatotoo ako, mahirap ang unconditional love... but it exists... we are capable of genuine, true, unconditional love... it doesn't come easy but we can...

actually, hmmmm... this is a good question if only because it brings to mind a counter-premise, is there such a thing as CONDITIONAL LOVE? If it's conditional, is it love?

oh well, semantics... conditional love and unconditional love are theoretically antonyms... but if it's conditional, wouldn't it make love a commodity? condition... give before i give... pay before you acquire... suffer before i sacrifice...

piper says: QUESTION # 4: WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T EXERT EFFORT AND TELLS YOU "EH WALA AKONG MAGAWA"? Do you believe him?

prue says: No, 'wala kang ginawa' is more like it...

piper says: QUESTION # 5: WHEN THAT SOMEONE TELLS YOU "intindihin mo naman ako" WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE DRAINED YOURSELF TO UNDERSTAND HIM, SHOULD YOU ANSWER HIM BACK AND SAY: "eh patayin mo na lang kaya ako!"

prue says: ang isasagot ko sa kanya, 'pinipilit kitang intindihin pero hindi na kita maintindihan kung bakit hindi mo rin ako maintindihan... ang hirap nating intindihin... naiintindihan mo?'

piper says: QUESTION # 6: WHEN YOU SHARE A SUN LINE TO AVOID HEARING THE LINE "wala akong load eh" BUT YOU STILL HEAR THE LINE "eh walang signal eh", O ANO KA, ANO MASASABI MO DUN? HA? HA? HAHAHAHA! NATATAWA NA KO SA MGA ORAS NA TO.

prue says: ay... ay... hay naku... ewan ko... ang masasabi ko lang, wag pagurin... lalo pa't isa lang ang willing to sacrifice and surrender, naku... mapapagod talaga ang gumagawa ng paraan...

piper says: QUESTION # 7: WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE AND HE'S DOWN BELOW, GIVEN...TUTULUNGAN MO SIYA. ANG TANONG, HANGGANG SAN?

prue says: hanggang kaya mo... kapag hindi mo na kaya, tama na...

piper says: QUESTION # 8: WHEN ALL HE SAYS IS HE MISSES YOU AND HE LOVES YOU FOREVER, DO YOU JUST HAVE FAITH IN HIM? YUN LANG HA. YUN LANG ANG PINANGHAHAWAKAN MO. HAHA. WALA NGANG EFFORT DIBA?

prue says: i don't do small talk... even in love, i don't... i appreciate lines like that... but i have more faith in a man who does rather than just say... lambingan, okay 'yan... pero usaping pangmatagalan, kalokohan 'yan...

piper says: QUESTION # 9: (eto medyo digging up the past ha, again, wala akong paki) WHEN HE THINKS THAT SAYING I LOVE YOU TO HIS EX GIRLFRIEND IS OKAY TAPOS ANG DAHILAN AY "friend ko sha eh" SHYET. MAY TATALO DUN? CGE NGA? YES, I TOO WAS STUPID TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. HAHAHAHA

prue says: yes, you were stupid bff but nevertheless, that was love and if only for that... i salute you...

piper says: QUESTION # 10: AT ETO KA, ETO KA. WHEN FACED WITH TWO CHOICES...A CHOICE BETWEEN PLANNING YOUR FUTURE, REUNITING WITH YOUR HONEY AFTER MORE THAN A MONTH, SCOUTING FOR POSSIBILITIES, EXPLORING A NEW WORLD, SETTING UP GAMEPLANS FOR YOUR CAREER, WITH FUN TRIPS AND HAPPY SUNSHINY DAYS vs. A GIG AT ICM WHICH HE ALREADY SAID NO TO, KAYA LANG SAYANG DAW KASI FASHION SHOW NG MOSSIMO, DEADMA NA KUNG MASAYANG ANG PLANE TICKET NA AKO ANG NAGBAYAD AT NAKABOOK NA THREE WEEKS AGO ....AT ANO ANG PINILI? GO FIGURE. eto naman ang choice niyo: maniniwala ka bang mahal ka niya talaga at iintindihin mo? o sasalampak ka sa upuan mo, magsisindi ng yosi, titingin sa kawalan at tatanungin ang sarili, "san ko nga ulit nakilala ito?, may problema ba ko nung mga panahong yun?"

prue says: sasalampak sa upuan... magsisindi ng yosi... tapos tatawag sa telepono... refund the ticket... uupo ulit... sisindi ulit yosi... at babatukan ang sarili... 'eh bakit ba naman kasi ibinili ko pa ng tiket sa eroplano... pwede namang barko na lang.'

Monday, September 8, 2008

what's the news on me?

most of the scripts are still being revised and i have to wait for everybody to accomplish my inputs...

and so i am left with nothing much to do...

now, that's something new... hehehe! not being 'ngarag'... or atleast managing to handle work-related stress better... my bet is my vacation really did me good...

anyway, what's the NEWS on me?

1. not that it's really a big deal but like i said, i am better at handling stress now...

2. i'm sporting an 'emo' look... bangs extending to my chin... one-sided of course... got tired of my usual hairstyle...

3. i've four new books (twilight saga - twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn... through with the first... on to new moon)

4. my heart's delighted... i've a hubby... i (or rather we) call each other 'hugz'... lovelife's finally blooming... does that make me an official 'ilokano' then? hahaha!

5. i am simplifying my life... this is the fourth time i've attempted such a feat... but if love can move mountains, love can re-invent this big lump of lard...

6. and to simplify my life, a few mandates on myself now... work starts at 10:30am... leave office by 7pm (except on very exceptional cases like tonight)... and i say, since i got back to work, i have been able to observe that... i declare, I WILL ENSLAVE MYSELF NO MORE!!! YEAH, I DECLARE!!!

7. having laid on that divan while doing the psy-war with my shrink really improved my anger management... what a relief... i deserve a kudos... my friends will attest to my reformation... I WILL NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF... AND HOPEFULLY, EVEN THE BIG STUFF!!! I WILL ALLOW NO ONE TO GET INTO MY NERVES!!! guess what?! i am very good at it already... hmmmm... now i miss her (the shrink i mean)...

8. no more dinner for me... no more heavy, sweet and salty, carbo-heavy intake as soon as the sun goes down... i am very determined to lose pounds...

9. spending a thousand bucks and so everyday is already a thing of the past... i never thought i'd manage with a hundred bucks a day but i am enjoying the process... now, i can eat with my friends in the cafeteria (no pun intended)... hehehe! i hope my friends at work appreciate me for that... they know better...

10. i don't shout anymore... did you read that? I DON'T SHOUT AT ANYONE ANYMORE!!! wait... i realized that only now... woooooooow!!!!

11. at oo nga, i just asked my friends... I DON'T USE FOUL WORDS TOO NAAAAAA!!! yes... oo... hindi na ako nagmumura... i am awed with this realizations... i never knew these (items 10 and 11) until this very minute...

i'll end my post on this note... my friends and i are having dinner na... ay... sila lang pala... i'm joining them lang sa caf... o naks naman... hahaha!

P.S.

sana Lord, i am right about everything... thank you for guiding me... i like who i am now... made me see the light, didn't You? Love you God!

P.P.S

may isa pa pala... i am now wearing shoes... pahinga muna flip flops and sandals... my new nail hasn't grown yet though... by the way, walang umattend sa libing... hahaha!

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make it forever...


he ignored me, staring up at the moon.

"twilight, again," he murmured. "another ending. no matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."

"some things don't have to end," i muttered through my teeth, instantly tense.

he sighed.


p.495
Twilight
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan



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Sunday, September 7, 2008

and i do...

"i miss you," i whispered.

"i know. believe me. i know. it's like you've taken half my self with you."

"come and get it then." i challenged.

"soon, as soon as i possibly can. i will make you safe first." his voice was hard.

"i love you." i reminded him.

"could you believe that, despite everything i've put you through, i love you, too?"

"yes, i can actually."

"i'll come for you soon."

"i'll be waiting."

as soon as the phone went dead, the cloud of depression began to creep over me again.


p.418
Twilight
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan



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are you my life now?


i pouted.

"you were very deeply asleep; i didn't miss anything." his eyes gleamed. "the talking came earlier."

i groaned, "what did you hear?"

his gold eyes grew very soft. "you said you loved me."

"you knew that already," i remindd him, ducking my head.

"it was nice to hear, just the same."

i hid my face against his shoulder.

"i love you," i whispered.

"you are my life now," he answered simply.

there was nothing more to say for the moment. he rolled us back and forth as the room grew lighter.


p.314
Twilight
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan

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Saturday, September 6, 2008

my HAPPY GOLDEN DAYS...

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i waited for the hands to point north... it's a personal tradition... i rejoice as i bid goodbye to august... and say HELLO to BER MONTHS...

almost all of my friends got the text but just so i continue spreading the good news, i am expressing my warmest ber greeting to everyone in cyberworld...

11:55pm
aug. 31, 2008
sunday

YEEEEEEHEEEEEY! BER NA! Merry merry meeeeerrrii christmaaaaas! My gahd!
Saya di ba! O kung may kasama ka ngaung kaibigan, hug mo then say THANK YOU FOR EYBRITING then pwede din i-kiss... hihihi... kung lovey dovey, eh di romantic kiss then embrace then whisper sa kanya ng pagka-sweet sweet na I LOVE YOU HUGZ este kung anuman term of endearment niyo... kung family, groooouuuup huuuug at paalalahanan ng REGALO KO HA... kung crush naman, i-hold ang hand then bulungan ng I LIKE YOU... uuuuy...kahit cno pa 'yan,MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRIIIIISTMAAAAS NAAAA! Magsayang ng piso, gumastos sa pagtawag, manghawa... SPREAD DA JOY! Bawal malungkot, bawal magmukmok, nawal magalit!Photobucket

9:30am
sept. 04
thursday

Magandang thursday sa ating lahat... to those who have shoot today, smooth sailing coverage will be yours... to those who are ill, i breathe of recovery... to those being tested and are going through difficult times, today will be better than yesterday... to those who are loveless, know that somebody's on his way... to the penniless, it's almost payday.. to those whose family member is sick, laughter or a simple but meant smile is prescribed... Sa ating lahat, WE ARE BEING WATCHED OVER... HE'LL NEVER FORSAKE US... so let's smile, TODAY IS A MIRACLE!

10:30am
sept. 05
friday

reeeeedyoooooys... seeeleeebreeeyt... it's the 1st friday of a BER-y very happy season... 15 more Viernes to go and it's Paaaaasko Naaaaa!!! Bawal sumibangot ha!

5:20pm
sept. 06
saturday

As the carol goes, ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY GOLDEN DAYS... araw-araw tayong ngumiti... despite the odds and predicaments, harapin natin ng nakangiti ang buhay... Not all situations are problems and no problem is unresolvable... CHallenges 'yan, ibig sabihin, kayang PAGWAGIAN... Remember, we're never penniless, we're just FINANCIAKKY CHALLENGED... we're never loveless, we're just ROMANTICALLY CHALLENGED (hindi ako kasali ngayon diyan... hahaha)... we're never engot, we're just INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED... o cia, magpatugtog ng christmas carols... tabihan ang mga mahal sa buhay... kumanta ng sabay-sabay... and u'l be reassured... MAGANDA ANG BUHAY... WOOHOOOO... SABADO NIGHTS! 15 weeks na lang...

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Friday, September 5, 2008

locked in...

"I was afraid... because for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And i'm afraid I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should." I looked down at his hands as I spoke. It was difficult for me to say this aloud.

"Yes," he agreed slowly. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest."

I frowned.

"I should have left long ago," he sighed. "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave," I mumbled pathetically, staring down again.

"which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."

"I'm glad."

P. 266
Twilight
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan

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on nightfall...


I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.

"It's the safest time of day for us," he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. "The easiest time . But also the saddest, in a way... the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" He smiled wistfully.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." I frowned.

p. 233
Twilight
Edward Cullen and Bella Swan

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My photo
My life is not extra-ordinary but it has stories to tell...

THESE ARE THE MOMENTS!!!